Learning How To Live

I have decided to change the way we live.

I thought we were fairly healthy before, and I stand by that, but having a baby changes everything.

Before Autumn was born, I considered myself an athlete, and was in the best shape of my life. I thought we ate well and took good care of ourselves. Admittedly I still had a pretty negative body image, and wanted to drop one dress size (then I would have been going from a size 8 to a 6).

When I got pregnant I nearly immediately started having breathing problems. But I continued to exercise and I quit smoking immediately. I did everything I thought I was supposed to and still gained over 90 lbs over the course of my pregnancy. I was less worried about it while pregnant because I was militant about breastfeeding, and that burns a ton of calories. Shortly after autumn was born I learned that I was physically unable to breastfeed- After a heart wrenching battle I gave up after 8 weeks and stopped completely when autumn was about 3 months old- that is another lesson in itself- a story worth sharing when I am ready to relive it.

I started walking pretty much immediately after I was released from the hospital and started playing roller Derby again 6 Weeks after autumn was born. I had been doing everything I thought I was supposed to do, and treating my body better than I ever had, and better than most people I know. Unfortunately I really have not been losing weight the way I expected to, and almost as annoyingly, I have not been making the athletic progress I wanted to make either.

I have struggled with weight most of my life. Adam has great genes and does not have to work nearly as hard as I do to stay in shape but he has already taught me a lot about how to live a healthier fitter lifestyle. Right now, that is not enough.

My goal now is to work towards total fitness, not only that required to help me lose weight, or play roller derby well. I am reading a book called "BETTER FASTER STRONGER" and reading up on how foods affect ones body. I am trying to cater my diet to my lifestyle, and eat foods that help me perform on all levels. I am also learning that I need to Diversify my workout and add some strength and flexibility training. I need to drink more water, too. The difference between this and every other time I have lost weight is that I don't want to treat my body well until I get fit again, or can skate well again, I want to make a habit of being good to myself so that I can live and enjoy life for a long time.

I DO want to lose some of this extra weight, but it is also important to me that I feel better and play roller derby REALLY WELL. Also, like I said, I have a baby now, and that changes everything. I want her to be raised knowing how to take good care of herself, so she doesn't struggle with wieght and general fitness the way I have. I think my parents did an excellent job raising me, in many ways, but I think for the first time ever I am really learning how to live.